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July 1, 2002 - The Houston Chronicle
Cameras roll as youths talk about being gay

His name is Joel. He is 19 and lives in Walnut, Calif., not far from Los Angeles. He is Filipino-American. His family is devoutly Catholic.He's a popular guy. In high school, he was senior class president. While there, he "famously" dated a pretty girl, asking her out on video, peers watching.But Joel has not been straight -- not with himself, for a long time, and not with his parents, ever. "It's acting 24/7 of your life," he says. With MTV cameras rolling, he's going to correct that situation by uttering two little words: "I'm gay."

Joel is one of four young gay people featured June 27 on MTV's True Life: I'm Coming Out (9 p.m.). Both he and Dora, a 17-year-old from Midland, will tell their fathers, on camera, that they are gay. A 20-year-old from New Jersey named Matt will recall his experience when he wrote his parents a letter stating his sexual orientation. And Jayce, a 26-year-old from Montana, will share the horrible things that happened to him when he confronted his homosexuality.

To fully appreciate this documentary, to overcome its outrageously intrusive concept and grasp its empowering possibilities, some background is in order. MTV runs a popular Web site (www.mtv.com). On it is a page that talks about shows in development. Several months ago, one of those shows was on coming out. The site asked people if they wanted to share their stories on camera. "We received 1,500 responses," said Lucia Engstrom, who produced tonight's show. "We read every single one."

She followed up with several respondents, making sure they were on the up-and-up and not just angling to get on TV. "They explained and reassured us that they're doing it for reasons beyond even themselves, that they want to help other individuals out there," she said. The goal was openness on camera. It was a ticklish situation for Engstrom, because the parents (unknowingly) held the cards. "They weren't aware that their kids were going to come out," Engstrom said. "It was not till afterward that we asked if they minded signing a release form. Everyone responded positively."

For the young people, having the camera there was a mixed blessing, she said. "For some, it made it easier because we were there and supporting them," she said. "But for many, it was nerve-racking. `What if I say something wrong?' `What if my parent reacts strangely?' " Parents, these young people learned, are not idiots. They pick up on behavior. They notice the little things. Joel's dad, for example, could hardly not notice the Fight Club and Meet Joe Black posters hanging in Joel's room. So he was ready when his son sat down with him at a picnic table and strained and stuttered to say those two little words. It's a message remarkably duplicated in two other instances -- even for Dora, the Midland girl, who says, "Being gay in this town means you're a sinner."

It does not turn out so happily for Jayce. A Mormon, he was raised on an anti-gay message. "Nothing you could do was worse, other than killing somebody," he says. He took aversion therapy through the church. He says he had electrodes put on his body, including his genitals, was shown pornographic images and given shocks. It didn't "cure" him, nor has his family forgiven him. Jayce's story "shows the reality," Engstrom said. "We wanted to show that things may not go as planned and you may lose everything that's dear to you, and that it should be a decision that's not made solely because you watched one television show and everything was rosy."

Kudos to MTV for this unusual hour, part of the network's ongoing anti-discrimination campaign. And kudos to Engstrom, whose previous MTV producing efforts include shows on teen violence, escort services and Ecstasy; due in July is bipolar depression. Her film isn't fancy, but the content is remarkable. "I had chills and cried through half the shoot," she said. Save your biggest applause for the kids, who showed a double dose of courage by participating in this film. They came out twice -- to their families and to us. Even in 2002, that takes a lot of guts.

MTV's True Life: I'm Coming Out, 9 June 27, MTV. Grade: B.